Diet Coke Please


I’m not sure if this next post is funny because I’m fat, or because I’m tall, either way, I’ll tell it.

So I’m 14 years old, out for dinner with my mom, and the nice waitress lady asks me what I want to drink, I respond with “diet coke”, because every 14 year old should be drinking DIET coke, and not regular coke, right? Anyway, she brings me this drink, and I almost want to projectile vomit all over her after taking a large fat girl gulp. My mom tries it, and it’s rum and coke, EW.

Anyway, apparently at the age of 14, I looked 18. Lucky me. Why am I only getting carded everywhere I go now?

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