Jolly Giant

My friend, let’s just call her Margaret Steinberg says that I leave people hanging with my blogs and that I don’t say enough.

Let’s start with letting everyone know that I was born 24 inches long, that’s right people- two feet tall! I am very proud to announce to everyone that in 1988 I was the largest baby born in the hospital. It’s one of the only achievements I’ve ever really accomplished because I hate sports, I will watch them, as long as I can eat chips or popcorn, but I will not participate. In fact, in high school, I found myself at the nurses office or guidance counselors office whenever it was time for gym.

If I were in a room full of thousands of people, I guarantee that you would be able to spot me out first; not because of my amazingly beautiful face, but because of my large demeanor. About my beautiful face, can I just say what I hate most in the world? When people tell me I have a pretty face, like shut up, you might as well just say “you’re so fat”, because really, I know my face is beautiful, I don’t need your stupid reminders, say something nice like, “YOU’RE PRETTY”. Rude.

In high school, people used to call me Shaq because I was so ginormously tall, I liked it. I wore a Lakers jersey for most of grade 11, that’s cool I guess. My mom always told me I was special because of my height, and I guess I see her point now, because if I were a foot shorter, I would totally look like an oompa loompa.

I like to think that I’ve been given a special gift, I’m an optical illusion!




  1. Anna · December 2, 2012

    You have a beautiful arm.

  2. -ency · May 18, 2013

    Thank you, this is a subject which is dear to my heart.

    Where are your contact details though? My name’s Staci Burris and I’d love to discuss
    this more.

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