I was out for dinner last night with my friend Christina Holland. We were laughing, and having a good time, until I looked over and saw this real winner sitting at a table by himself biting his fork. He wasn’t a heavy man or anything, but why did he feel the need to bite down on his fork? Was there not enough food on there? It hurts my teeth just thinking about it. Actually, now that I think of it, maybe he had that disease where they like to eat metal? Pica Syndrome… I just googled it, I’m that smart. He could have ordered a second meal. I would have paid for it, if I was promised I wouldn’t have to see this fork biting experience. The whole thing was just wrong. That’s why I like Chinese food. People can’t eat their chopsticks.