Are All Mothers This Critical?

Today was my “before” picture day. While I once believed I had a skinny back, and skinny legs, my loving, in her own special way, mother, Ronnie Ginger, who possesses absolutely no filter, found it necessary to point out to me that my backside was not as small as I actually believed it to be. Bravo for you, Ronnie, Bravo! In her words: “She does not have a skinny back, or skinny legs, or a skinny butt, everything looks small in comparison to her midsection”…. she didn’t say midsection, she said “belleh”… you know like that Destinys Child Bootylicious song? 

This weekend, she got mad at me for being hungry. She doesn’t understand. I asked her if she would like it if her cigarettes were blended into a shake she had to drink four times a day and had to stop her addiction. Apparently she found this funny, so funny in fact, she made a little wee wee. 

G-d bless her soul. No matter what comes out of her mouth, I know she truly loves me. 

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