Happy Valentines Day To Me




Valentines Day is a day for single people to be upset they’re alone, fat girls to eat chocolate and watch The Notebook with their friends Ben and Jerry, and girls in relationships not being happy that their boyfriends didn’t send them the right flowers or the right kind of expensive chocolates.

Well, every fat girl loves to get chocolate on Valentines Day. I didn’t get that, not even a chocolate pudding. I got a Vanilla Yogurt though. I couldn’t finish the yogurt, because I was so full from just one bite; well really, it tasted terrible, like rotten cheese. Donald Chow tried his hardest though. We had a great Valentines Day, even though he doesn’t believe in it. We went to the hair salon and I got some crazy blonde highlights. I figured, new me, new hair, why not. The do-master had crazy eyes once I told him he could go crazy and cut off as much as he wanted, and color it whatever color he wanted. They surprised me, and now I feel like a heavier, prettier version of Jennifer Aniston. I’m kind of looking more like my mom. I can’t wait to see the face she gives me when I have to pick her up from the airport tomorrow; it’s either going to be the “what the hell did you do to your hair” face or the “omg, I love it, you look just like your mother” face.

Anyway, this Valentines Day turned out to be amazing for me, because while all you skinny girls were gaining weight with your chocolate covered strawberries, and fancy meals, I got a new hairstyle and I look hotter as each day goes by.

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