A Note To Skinny Girls

Dear Skinny girls,
Happy Easter. Eat lots of chocolate.

Dear Jewish Skinny Girls,
Happy Passover. Eat lots of chocolate covered matzah.

Love yah

Cake Cake Cake

I cheated. I’m a big fat cheater. I feel terrible, and now I just want to curl up into a little ball and die in Carrot Caramel Cheesecake Heaven. The lovely 105 pound, Lexi Diggs is working so quietly at her desk with a beautiful piece of Carrot Caramel Cheesecake just staring at her in the face. She literally had this cake sitting on her desk and hadn’t taken a bite out of it. I had walked by about four times to see if she had taken a bite out of it, and nothing had been eaten. If that was me, that bad boy would have done some Houdini magic and that beautiful piece of cake would have disappeared in seconds!

I decided that I would be Fat Hillary and decided to walk over and ask if I could just simply smell her cake. She ever so nicely offered to give me the rest of it, and the skinny girl in me politely said “no thank you”. She persisted, and so, I took it. I took this piece of magnificent art to my desk and began smelling it, then I poked it, and then licked it. I took one bite, and I was hooked, so hooked in fact that I couldn’t quite keep my hands off it.  It was like the Brad Pitt of cakes. I took one fat girl bite and then another. Skinny girl butted in, in the middle of my cake eating binge and then, with food all over my face, sitting in a quiet office, I screamed at myself “NO FAT GIRL, PUT THAT CAKE DOWN”. I poured my Crystal Light all over the cake art and threw it in the garbage.

I think it’s good to be able to taste a little bit of everything, but not get too carried away. I mean, I’m a pro at getting carried away, how do you think I got this way? I think being able to take a bite, and then walk away without finishing the cake makes me stronger than I ever was.

Food is not the enemy, it’s just, well food isn’t your friend, but they’re not the enemy.

First Checkup



I went to the doctor this week for my first checkup since my surgery. Dr. McDreamy said the nicest thing ever to me, and told me that I was almost unrecognizable… It was very nice, but I’m sure he would have gone a little further if Donald Chow wasn’t sitting right next to me, holding my hand. Once I got into his office, Dr. McDreamy had told me that he started reading my blog, I immediately turned a bright shade of red and got very nervous; mostly because I keep calling him Dr. McDreamy, but like, I don’t lie in my blog, I tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It’s not like I’m going to call him Dr. McUgly, because that would be lying. He told me he really enjoyed it, and I’m a good writer! He’s smart, intelligent, and sweet!

Anyway, Doctor told me that I’m right on track and everything is going smoothly. He is very happy with my progress, as am I. Well not really. My scale at home was a lot nicer than his scale, and my scale gave me an extra seven pounds of weight loss…sad face. I have officially switched over in BMI categories from Class 2 Obesity, to Class 1 Obesity. The next level is Overweight, and guess what! I can’t wait! I never thought I would be so excited to be overweight!

It was also a huge compliment to me when the nutritionist in the Bariatric Surgery Department asked me if she could share my blog with young people going through the same surgery and same struggles that I faced! I feel honored, and I am so happy to be sharing my story with everyone!

I Heart Jewlidays



As most people might know from my tone, and bad attitude towards food and my loud obnoxious demeanor – I am Jewish. I’m not  a JAP (Jewish American Princess…duh), because I never really fit into that category. I always wanted to bake and lick the raw  cupcake batter from the bowl instead of going to school dances to meet boys and do my makeup and fun stuff like that.

Anyway, this week is Passover. The week without bread. Every skinny girls dream when it comes to dieting, right? Last night, this huge feast is placed in front of me, and for the first time in like EVER, I didn’t put myself into a food coma like all the years before. I took a little bit of everything and I had a little taste test party, by myself while everyone else around me was eating as if it were their last meal on earth. Ronnie Ginger even sat next to me, and we conversated and talked about life and love and food. Fat Hillary wouldn’t let that happen, but New Hillary was all like, “come sit next to me Mama and watch me eat”. I kind of also felt like a superstar. Everyone was looking at me, and complimenting and saying how good I looked. Then there was question and answer period when everyone wanted to hear about ME, ME, ME! This is like a totally new feeling for me. Old me would be so insecure and think that people would always be watching and judging, but new me was the life of the party and I made sure everyone knew what I was doing, but most of all, knew that I was having a great time!

When desert came around, I raised my large arm and said “yes, I want one please”. No more deprivation; I didn’t go crazy, I had like two bites, I swear, it’s all about moderation!

I am the most comfortable I’ve been in so long, and I am so happy! Round Two tonight!

Face Meets World

Today, I am not plump. Today, I am smaller. Today I feel fantastic and today I feel great. I feel like people look at me now because they genuinely think I’m pretty, and want my good looks. I also am quite confident that people are now laughing with me and not at me. I am comfortable walking out of my house in my outfit knowing that it is TOO BIG, or just looks plain normal on me. I am comfortable with me.

I have gotten, not one, but two compliments today! Morris Levenstein told me that every Monday when he sees me, that I’m a different person, and another co-worker told me that I looked pretty today! Like HELLO!, I wasn’t wearing any makeup, and I didn’t blowdry my hair (sorry Mom!)- what do you see that I don’t see, super nice awesome complimenting co-worker?  I’m pretty without trying? OMG! It’s a miracle. Tell me more! More nice compliments please! Those people who told me I was pretty, and that I had a pretty face hidden under my fat were right! My face is coming out from hiding! Welcome face, I think it’s time we have a welcome home party for you. It’s time to celebrate, because you’ve been suffocating under cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets for far too long.

Today, I love me, and I hope to love me more every day a little bit more.

A Note To Chubby Girls



Dear Chubby Plump Girls,

Listen to my wise words. Don’t listen to anyone that tells you that your face is so beautiful, don’t let the bullying skinny girls get to you, don’t let your fears get in the way of anything. I wasted twenty four years of my life being sad, and feeling like I was worthless. I am so happy right now and I am in the greatest place. I have never been more in love with myself, and I don’t have anyone to thank but myself, and Dr. McDreamy, well because, you know.

I had dinner last night with a lovely young girl who inspires me so much. She has so much confidence and doesn’t care what other people think. She puts herself above the skinny b!@#$ and she’s the cool and fun one that everyone wants to be friends with. When I was that same age, I couldn’t believe the awkward mess I was. I would walk around with my head down and look like a loser, or start laughing like a hyena just to get some attention (that just made it worse though, because then I would attract attention to my large self). It’s also so nice to see how much love surrounds this amazing girl, I wish I had that kind of support growing up.  Jemima, you will accomplish great things, I love the way you love yourself, and I am so jealous of your level of confidence!

Confidence doesn’t come easy, just as you start losing weight. It’s something you need to learn and it’s hard to love something you’ve hated for 24 years. It’s a slow process, but I’m loving it every step of the way.

Love Always,

Just the obese girl

(I’m no longer morbidly obese, just regular obese, I dropped out of the morbid category this week. GO ME!)

Just Say No!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am mad about cheese. Actually, scratch that, I am absolutely head over heels in love with cheese. When I walk by the cheese aisle, I like to stop and stare and imagine all the possibilities I can do with cheese. Anyway, it’s a sick disorder I have, I should really attend a Cheese Lovers Anonymous meeting because I’m not normal.

Anyway, today, while at Wally World with Rhoda Clarice, I walked by the cheese aisle. I had a good look and I was instantly drawn to this magnetic beautiful block of cheese that I just absolutely had to have. You know the way some girls are attracted to diamonds and then they can’t look away? I’m the same way, except cheese is my diamond. Anyway, I pick up the block of cheese and I notice that it’s light, “40% less fat than regular cheese”.. BS! Cheese is cheese. Cheese is fat. I put the cheese in the cart and I walk away. When I get to the cash to pay, Rhoda Clarice asks me ever so nicely if I’m going to buy the cheese. I took a moment to think about it. I looked at the cheese, then looked at my stomach. I looked back at the cheese and then immediately had to find a place to hide this cheese because I didn’t want any association with it anymore. I felt bad just leaving it on the shelf to rot; cheese has feelings too you know, so I found a fridge. The fridge with the drinks at the cash. I have attached a picture so you can see what I’m talking about. Rhoda was so proud of me, but more importantly, I was proud of me. I said NO!

Anyway Mr. Cheese, I hope you enjoyed your nice little cart ride around Wally World. Next time I’ll just wave at you instead of giving you hope that you’ll be coming into a new home.