I’m Hillary-ous!


Image

 

I like to think of myself as quite a funny person. I’m not sure if I’m so funny because I’m making up for the fact that I’m so much fat(ter) than everyone else, but I have such a great sense of humor that it’s actually sick (not like vomit comet sick, but like fun amazing sick). I’m so funny in fact that Katelynn Fondly named me Hillary-ous. It stuck for a while, until it started to sound like a disease. I’ve made it a personal life goal to make everyone around me laugh. Lately, it’s been quite easy, but before I was just a clown. My mom always hated when I would laugh like a hyena. She told me that because my presence was so large that everyone around would notice me first and I would always make strange noises and a spectacle of myself. My mom would never let me laugh, it was so mean. I snorted, so that made me look like a pig, my whole body would jiggle when I found something really funny, and then when I laughed it sounded like a dying horse was have a seizure in my mouth. Actually now that I remember all of that, no wonder she didn’t want any attention on my hideous laughing fits.

My biological father says that I got his sense of humor. However, he doesn’t know me at all, and I haven’t learned a thing from him, so I think I just got it on my own, or learned it on YouTube. Maybe that’s why I’ve never really liked alcohol. People drink to have a good time and to act like baboons, but I have a great time on my own just sipping on good ol’ diet Pepsi. Not liking alcohol has given me a lot more money to spend on food in the past.

Maybe drinking would have been a good hobby for me instead of all you can eat Chinese?

 

Advertisements

Nothing But Smiles


This past Friday, I did my usual A Note to Skinny Girls. Not only did I get the most feedback, and comments on a post, but I was also confronted by the bully herself. To be honest, at the beginning, I was furious, and upset and wanted to ramble more about what she and others had done to me during childhood. After thinking about this for about a minute  ten minutes, I just stopped being angry, and then the biggest smile came on my face. My blog has made it so far to the point that it is affecting people around me. My characters in my blogs all have made up names, and the fact that someone took the time to study my post and really look into it, makes me feel so great.

Now, there were a couple of things that were mentioned to me that I would just like to clarify with the blog world.

1) Bullying is a bad bad thing. Bullying happens no matter what your weight, age, height, color, income. This blog is aimed at helping fat girls, or kids in general. I am telling my personal story and doing so in a humorous way. It’s been over fifteen years since I’ve been bullied. I will not blame one person for the way I turned out, but I will sometimes go back and think about how poorly I was treated. I do not see any harm in doing that.

2) I don’t hate skinny people. In fact I love them. Skinny people are people too, and I understand that at times they could get bullied for their looks as well. Some people are born with good genes and some people aren’t. I just happened to get the fat genes, unlike most of the people around me.

3) In order to get this surgery, I needed to go through a long process of therapy as well as questioning and hard thinking if this was the right thing to do. Clearly I was ready for this, as the doctors approved of this surgery and were ready to cut me open.

4) Healthy is my goal, not skinny.

I won’t dwell on this subject any longer, as there is no point in continuing to ramble about the same garbage. I am happy now. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Things just seem to be looking up, and the scale just seems to be going down.

If you don’t like what I have to say, there’s that red “x” at the top of your window; go ahead and close that and go play on Facebook and stalk some people you haven’t spoken to in years.

I don’t blame anyone for the way I turned out, I can’t! I can only be proud of myself for the person I’m becoming.

 

35 pounds down! Look at that huge smile on my face!

Image

A Note To Skinny Girls


Image

 

Dear Young Skinny Children of Elementary School,

Be nice to the awkward funny fat kid. If not, your life will be hell. If you think calling that plump little girl or boy some sort of disease, or feel like making fun of them to make you feel better about yourself, shut up, turn around and stop. Fat people are just like you, fat people have feelings too. Don’t sit there and make fun of an innocent little fat kid just because you want to feel better about yourself. Just because you’re having a terrible time at home, and you’re the outcast of your own family, doesn’t mean you need to take it to the playground and put it on someone else.

In elementary school, specifically grade two, I remember that shorter “friend”, who decided it would be nice to make “Helga**Germs” a trending topic around school. Are you serious you shrimp, just because you’re three feet tall, you’re going to take out your anger on the girl who’s ten times prettier than you’ll ever be? Look at you now,  and now look back at me… I’m happy, you’re in the same sad place you were years ago. Also, I would really appreciate it if you gave me back my play-doh you stole from my desk in grade 4. I know it was you, your eye does this wonky thing when you lie.

Skinny children everywhere, listen to my inspirational words. Don’t make fun of those fat awkward kids, they’re going to be your bosses in twenty years from now.

Signed,

Getting there skinny girl

Ronnie Ginger


Image

Me and my mom never really got along when I was a child, or when I was a teenager. Actually, we only started getting along recently. It could have to do with the fact that I was a very needy child and she was left alone raising a one week old and a beautiful crazy two year old (me) when she was just 25. I mean, I’m stressed out at 25 just thinking about what kind of shoes to wear, who knew what she was going through.

I remember when I was eight, I weighed eighty pounds. My mom fought so hard not to get me to hit that 100 pounds mark, right now I would KILL to weigh 100 pounds. She took me to nutritionists, and Weight Watchers, and took me to see psycho brain therapists, once I hit that 100 pounds, it all went downhill. I think she thought that she was failing as a parent when she saw me gaining so much weight so quickly, but she shouldn’t have blamed herself, I just liked food. It wasn’t her fault, and she did the best she could.

I know that no matter how many times my mom told me to stop eating that cookie, or no matter how fat she said I was getting, she only said it because she loved me. No matter how many times we fought, or whatever mean things we said to each other, she was always there for me, and still is always there for me. I guess why she called me fat my whole life was because she didn’t know what to say to a fat kid, and didn’t know how to face reality that one of her children was becoming morbidly obese before her very eyes. If you tell a fat kid to stop eating, they’re going to eat- so I ate…a lot.

Mom, I love you. You are the best mother AND father anyone could ever ask for. You sacrificed everything for me and Duffy. Even though there are times we all fight, and we say mean things, you are my best friend and my inspiration.

FYI: For all you haters, my mom and I became best friends in 2010 when I moved out, not when I got skinny (er).

A Miracle Has Happened


This morning I got dressed, I put on my bra and I realized that it was too big on me… let me repeat myself, I REALIZED THAT IT WAS TOO BIG ON ME! I had to make the straps smaller and then I had to go to the back and put it on the second clip. My entire life I’ve been wearing bras on the last clip, and then ten pounds later, I have bubble back and then throw it out and it’s time to buy a new one.
Never in my life have I ever worn a bra and had it on the second clip, or even the third clip. When that happens, I’m just going to scream at the top of my lungs and scare all the neighbors away. My mama would be so proud of me. Things are finally shrinking. I just screamed a bit!

 

I’m so happy! Who wants to come bra shopping with me this weekend?

Things are looking UP (Down)


Image

 

Ok, so I am so happy to share this lovely news. For the first time in like, ever, I woke up this morning and got dressed, and was so happy with the clothing that I put on that I didn’t even change once.

Let me backtrack a little, two months ago, I would make a mess of my closet looking for something that didn’t make me look like a Michelin Man, something that didn’t expose too much fat, or something that wasn’t too tight that made me look like a jolly stuffed sausage. Getting dressed would take at most, ten minutes, I wouldn’t do my hair, because I wouldn’t care, and I used to look like a disgusting slob (Ronnies words). Today, I woke up, I got my hair did and I put on panty hose and a dress. I looked in the mirror, and said “wow, I look good” I HAVE NEVER EVER SAID THOSE WORDS TO MYSELF. I actually look good.

Today I’m getting so many compliments on how lovely and feminine I look. Is this because I dressed like a slob for the last year I’ve been working in the fashion industry? Either way, I feel good… na na na na na na na

Changes Are Good


So I went to Uncle Shnotty and Auntie Anastasias house this weekend to visit and show them how amazing I look. Only 1 of 3 children were there… the most entertaining one- R! Usually R likes to grab me inappropriately or rest his head on my “pillows”. For the first time ever, little almost 7 year old R, didn’t touch me like I was a life-sized doll, he just hugged me and I felt so normal. That’s how I know that I lost some weight. 

Also, on that note, I must also tell the world that I tried on jeans today for the first time since surgery. THEY FIT! I still have the saggy leg part, but I’m happy because I’m not wearing my fat girl jeans anymore. (Not that I ever wore fat girl jeans, they just looked like fat girl jeans because I liked to wear them so high…or so low, depending on the outfit.)

Today is a good day, I’m happy, and still breathing in my not so tight jeans!