On A More Serious Note

I’ve taken this whole “I have a smaller stomach” thing way too lightly these last few days. I figure if I have a small stomach, I won’t need to eat as much, therefore I can eat whatever I want. I understand that weight fluctuates over the course of a week, and it’s majorly unhealthy to weigh myself everyday, however when I woke up this morning and saw that I had gained two pounds overnight, I couldn’t help but hate myself.

After surgery, doctors and nutritionists give post op patients a list of foods they can and cannot eat. We are also given information to eat on portions, and examples on what to eat for meals. If I’m not honest with the world, then I can’t be honest with myself. I have taken bites here and there of foods that I have wanted. I have had an extra three or four bites when I shouldn’t have. From this point on, I never want to see the scale go up again. I can do this. I didn’t go this far just to fail again!

Not to make any excuses, like fat people are good at, but I have been to the gym 5 times in the last 7 days, and I’m so f!@ing proud of myself! Maybe it’s muscle weighing more than fat? NO. It’s just fat being fat.

I promise MYSELF that I will stay on track. It’s only been two months. I should not be off track already.

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