Confidence Boost


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Donald Cho will most probably not like this post. However, I think I should share with the world that I am quite happy that since surgery, due to the fact that I have been hit on quite a number of times. More times than I can imagine in my entire life. Now, these men who hit on me, are no Brad Pitt, most have at least four missing teeth, and I think only one of them knew how to say a full sentence in English.

Here are my encounters:

Waiting in the metro, this dude comes up to me, buck teeth and all. He looks me up and down and then with this grin, opens his mouth:

Weirdo: Dayuuuuuum Girl, you looking fiiiine. You got the Facebook?

Me: (German accent): Me, no book face, I no from country. Tank you

Weirdo: Girl, you know what I sayin’, you got the Facebook in Germany

Me: No no sir, No habla English.

 

Then maybe two days later, I see this odd looking thing. To be honest, I thought he was a homeless man asking me for change, so I tried to be nice. It turns out he was around fifty. I thought he was asking me if I had a tomato, but really he wanted my number.

Old Man: Hello Lady, you are looking quite fine tonight, can I have your tomato?

Me: I don’t have a tomato

Old Man: Can I have your number?

I casually walked away, because I didn’t want him to feel bad about the fact that I wasn’t interested in him or his tomato talk. He had this stench of beets coming from him, and I have a boyfriend. Like, get real sir. Also, maybe you should call your dentist, because something is really wrong up in there.

Two days ago, I was walking Genius in the alley. I know, I know, call me an idiot. I was asking for D’Shawn to start talking to me. No seriously, his name was D’Shawn, he told me as I was running away from him. Genius ran into an alley and I followed him there, because clearly I’m the genius. All of a sudden, this voice with no face hiding behind a car, starts talking to me and asking me personal questions about my life.

D’Shawn: Cute dog, what’s your name?

Me: Genius

D’Shawn: That’s a tough name for a cute little girl like you

Me: No, my dog is Genius. I don’t have a name

D’Shawn: Girl, where you livin?

Me: Nowhere

D’Shawn: I got an extra bed, wanna stay with me

Me: No

D’Shawn (as he follows me back to my apartment) Girl, don’t you walk away from me. I’m offering you shelter, for you and your dog for free.

Me: I’m cool bro.

Anyway, Genius and I walked two blocks away, and needless to say, I’ve been searching for a new apartment ever since. It’s been quite  week.

Guys, you’ve all been sweet! Thanks so much for boosting my confidence

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