Helpful Tips For Full Stomach Sized People


Since my surgery, I have noticed a lot of changes. Changes in my body, in my health, in my breathing while walking up stairs, and also personality and my confidence. I’ve also noticed a lot of changes in the ways that others treat me. While I’m not trying to point fingers at anyone, there should be a couple of things that should be made clear:

1) People who have had weight loss surgery are people too. While we may be trying to lose weight, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have sweets, or treat ourselves once in a while. If I want to taste a cupcake, I will taste a cupcake. It is in absolutely positutely no way anyone elses place to tell me that I can’t have a cupcake, and/or give me a motherly face that cupcakes are bad for me. I know cupcakes are bad, and I know that I want to try one. Just a friendly reminder: I physically do not have room in my stomach to eat an entire cupcake, but I do have the room to satisfy myself with one teeny tiny bite. The old me would have been the closet eater self that I was, and not had any cupcakes at a family gathering – then when I’m sitting home alone on a Saturday night, I would instead have had a movie night with Ben and Jerry and my dear old friend Humpty Dumpty. I’m not out to sabotage my weight loss by one bite. I just want a measly taste.

2) When people say “You took the easy way out”. I’m sorry, you should rephrase your sentence, because this is in no way easy. There is nothing easy about parting with 85% of your stomach. There is nothing easy about learning to live life a new life, or learning a new way of eating. There is absolutely nothing easy in seeing an entire plate of food in front of you, knowing that you can’t physically eat it. It’s hard, and just because I had this surgery, does not give anyone the right to look me in the eye and say those words to me. The first thing I learned in my info session before weight loss surgery, was that this surgery needs to be used as a tool. The weight will not just fall off instantly and magically fit into a bikini overnight. What we see on TV, and in the magazines, are not what it’s like in reality. I speak not only for myself, but for everyone around me, unless you have lived through this, had any type of weight loss surgery, it does not give you the right to bash someone and accuse them of “taking the easy way out”.

3) When you say “you look so skinny!”, it’s super nice and all that you think that, but last I checked, I weighed 204 pounds, and according to my BMI chart, I am obese, nowhere near the “skinny” category. In fact, there is no such thing as a “skinny” category. There is morbidly obese; which I have happily moved on from, obese, overweight, normal and underweight. At this point in my life, I am obese, seriously, true story, and  I hate to break it to you, but it’s the truth. While I appreciate a flattering comment – at the end of the day, we both know I’m not skinny. I don’t ever want to be skinny. My goal is to be normal….and healthy. Skinny is just an overrated fad and really unflattering on most people.

4) I like snacks. Snacks are an important part of my diet. Considering the fact that I have the stomach the size of a baby banana, I get full quite easily, with a teensy bit amount of food. Just because I’m on a food schedule, doesn’t mean you need to mock or make fun when I get hungry at 11:00 am.

5) As mentioned weeks ago, the same way it’s impolite to ask someone when the last time they shaved their legs was, it’s equally as inappropriate to ask a person how much they weigh. I understand, I have a blog, I am sharing this for the world, everyone is curious. However, it is MY blog, and I share the details of my weight loss. When I want to share my weight, I will, if you are curious and I’m not in the mood to share,  then maybe you can sneak a scale under my feet somehow and find out for yourself, or back off? But as it stands now, just leave it, and when I want to mention something I will. Capeche?

Weight loss for anyone is not easy. Even without this tool it’s hard. Nothing in life is made to come easy. Sometimes people who haven’t had the surgery don’t know all these little fun facts I’ve shared today. Now we know, and now we can all treat each other like normal little individuals.

Image

Advertisements

Las Vegas


So, Donald and I decided that it was finally the right time to take a vacation. While some may argue that my time off from work after my recent surgery counted as a vacation (seriously, if you think that, then you are a sad individual in desperate need of a hobby) I believe that this is something I really need! Anyway, so while looking for a vacation, my first one since July of last year, I’m thinking to myself, “what would a skinnier person want to do?” Beaches are fun and all, and an Alaskan cruise can be fun….but the last time I went to Las Vegas, I was a whale. I wanted to experience Vegas a little bit of a skinnier weight.

After booking our trip, it has now come to my attention that I am not a prostitute looking model, and I don’t think I’m ready for Vegas just yet. To try and fit in, I decided to buy myself one of those high waisted bikinis; oh my goodness, TRAINWRECK. Well, Ronnie says I look good from the waist up, and I would have to agree. From waist down though, I look like I’m wearing one of those crossfit tires I need to flip over a thousand times over. Anyway, so now I have decisions to make, monokini, bikini (haha), tankini (obviously) or just a plain mommy looking speedo bathingsuit!

Help! Suggestions! Vegas in 5 days… I’m stuck in such a large floating pickle right now!

I Can Share Clothes


Yesterday was our family pool party. It was amazing, and I’ve never felt more like the center of attention. My lovely mom was especially friendly to me, especially since she told me that I looked so skinny, and that my skin was so loose. She then dragged me around each and every person to feel my loose skin, to reassure me that it was great and I was doing amazing. Thanks mom!

Another accomplishment, was that I fit into my younger cousins shorts! At first Marla tried to offer me Juanita-Lauritas shorts, which were maybe about ten sizes too small, but then she let me wear hers, and that felt like the biggest accomplishment of all! Ok, before we go all crazy, it wasn’t some fancy jean short type thing with buttons or zippers, yes they were stretchy, and stretchy is my best friend. Ronnie Ginger gave me this face after I came downstairs wearing short shorts, and without giving her usual face, she just said five words that I’ll never forget, that keep sticking with me: “How good does that feel?”. IT FEELS AMAZING! I FEEL AMAZING!

Anyway, today I feel good and slim, and like I can accomplish anything; except run a marathon because I’m really not ready for that just yet.

Fake Face


Image

 

Sometimes, when I get bored, I like to sit and Facestalk people. Today, it got so bad to the point that I had to stalk myself. As I’m sitting in my 0.5 square food cubicle, I decided I  was going to go through old Facebook pictures trying to locate a disturbingly ugly one of me, fat and all. I want this picture so I can get a better Before & After picture. Now, because I decided to only post the good pictures, it’s just boring and nothing with huge chipmunk cheeks. However, as my luck usually has it, I was unable to find anything remotely fat or ugly. What’s that all about?

Helga; fat me, in the past, decided to only take pictures from high up, or pictures with half my body missing. Facebook is like magic, it’s amazing how I could weigh almost 250 pounds, and look as though I’m only 170!

Either:

A) I was an amazing photographer

B)Facebook takes off 80 pounds Or…

C) I was just in denial and had to take 300 pictures in order to just get one decent one.

For all my pleasantly plump chunky friends, the answer is C. We all do it, don’t be ashamed. Whatever, I guess. No one is going to put up a picture on Facebook where there’s rolls galore or unplucked eyebrows, or just anything ugly. How stupid can you be? The really ugly ones will just post a picture of them from 1000 feet in the air so you’d actually think they’re only like 98 pounds!

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. Maybe it’s time I put up a makeup less picture from a straight on angle!

She’s Just Pleasantly Complaining


Image

 

I wish I understood why some people “absolutely love to work out”. Like seriously, for you people that love the brutal pain that comes with it everyday, I have a lot of questions for you. Let’s sit down and talk about it over a large bowl of chocolate brownie ice cream with whipped cream, k thanks. Last night, I went in for my weekly crossfit routine. Ugh, just thinking about it just gives me the chills. My Crossfit boyfriend (well he’s not really my boyfriend, we just have a secret love affair that no one knows about. Except it’s not really a love affair, he just pushes me to work out, and I really like the positive encouragement) is super nice to me, and really pushes me to work out as best I can. Celeste and I really get a kick out of it when he mentions that it’s not a squat unless it’s “ASS TO MAT!”. Ugh, I’m getting the chills again just thinking about last night– not in a good way. After I left class yesterday, I was so happy that I had accomplished it. Walking up the stairs was quite the challenge, but I thought that it would get better. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

So here it goes, if you will not attend an ice cream binge session with me,  I have a lot of questions for you, Gym Mice…

1) Do you like not being able to sit down on a toilet regularly? Like does it feel good when you need to hold on to the walls, and sit down slowly like you’re about to lose your legs?

2) Do you sometimes fantasize about cutting off your legs? I do. Like today. Everytime I get up, I walk like there’s a dead cat up my bum.

3) Is it normal to sweat from parts of my body that I didn’t know existed? I have found new places on my body that are very new to me. In those places, I find puddles of sweat, hope this is normal, because to be honest, I’m really not in the mood to wait in my doctors waiting room again.

Now, I know that working out is fantastic, and it really helps with the weight loss journey, HOWEVER, these three questions are specifically directed at the people who like to be in daily pain! I’m just a confuzzled ball of fat, so can someone please answer my three teeny tiny questions?

Above, was the angry fat girl complaining. Now, the healthier me is talking and damn I hate that pain but I know it’s worth it in the end. I wish I could go to Crossfit every day, but like you know, I’m not Bill Gates or anything. I’ve decided that I will start a charity for the poor, and unhealthy like me. Donations for Crossfit For The Pleasantly Plump and Pleasantly Poor , can be sent directly to me.