Fake Face



Sometimes, when I get bored, I like to sit and Facestalk people. Today, it got so bad to the point that I had to stalk myself. As I’m sitting in my 0.5 square food cubicle, I decided I  was going to go through old Facebook pictures trying to locate a disturbingly ugly one of me, fat and all. I want this picture so I can get a better Before & After picture. Now, because I decided to only post the good pictures, it’s just boring and nothing with huge chipmunk cheeks. However, as my luck usually has it, I was unable to find anything remotely fat or ugly. What’s that all about?

Helga; fat me, in the past, decided to only take pictures from high up, or pictures with half my body missing. Facebook is like magic, it’s amazing how I could weigh almost 250 pounds, and look as though I’m only 170!


A) I was an amazing photographer

B)Facebook takes off 80 pounds Or…

C) I was just in denial and had to take 300 pictures in order to just get one decent one.

For all my pleasantly plump chunky friends, the answer is C. We all do it, don’t be ashamed. Whatever, I guess. No one is going to put up a picture on Facebook where there’s rolls galore or unplucked eyebrows, or just anything ugly. How stupid can you be? The really ugly ones will just post a picture of them from 1000 feet in the air so you’d actually think they’re only like 98 pounds!

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. Maybe it’s time I put up a makeup less picture from a straight on angle!

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