Hillary, The Someday Olympian!


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I absolutely ADORE the Olympics! I like to watch the skiing, and the finger skaters, and all the pretty costumes. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to do any kind of physical activity. At time, I envision my face on the Olympians face and pretend that it’s me doing all that funky twirling in the air kind of stuff! I tried to do Olympic skiing on the Wii once, but that failed tremendously when I fell head first into my fireplace. I still have scars. Maybe that’s why I don’t like working out, I’m afraid of being hurt and then falling! I don’t know what it is, but no matter what I do, I’m unable to move around properly. I have no balance, no rhythm,  no grace. I’m a special kind.

If I could do any kind of sport in the Olympics, I think I would do interpretive dancing. You know, the ones with the ribbon wands! I’ve always wanted to hop around like a bunny and feel like a pretty elegant princess. Somehow though, no matter what I do, I always end up tripping on something, and looking like a buffoon. I swear, it can be standing on something so flawless, and still trip and break my face. My mommy always told me that I was clumsy and not very girl-like. She always told me to be graceful, but being graceful is just boring. I can do it on the weekends, and to go to special classy events, but to be graceful all day, every day just wouldn’t work for me.

For now, I think it’s best to stick to walking. To the bus. Because I really can’t go wrong there.

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Valentines Day Comes Once A Year


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So Valentines Day just passed. I had the most amazing day! It started at 7:00 AM, Donald and I both woke up, and before brushing our teeth, we exchanged our gifts. We should have brushed our teeth, it’s hard giving/accepting gifts with bad breath. Donald was so generous and I am a lucky girl to have him!  So after our amazing present session, we had coffee together, and then he brought me to work. I spent the entire day at work planning what we would eat for dinner. I finally decided to kill some lobster for dinner. I’ve only ever cooked a lobster once, and I usually name them before I kill them (RIP Libby the Lobster) Anyway, I got ready to go to the store, and the damn lobster store was out of lobsters. Like wasn’t cool at all. After my dinner plans failed, Donald suggested that we go out to dinner. I think he suggested because once my hunger gets to a certain level, I turn into Ursula from The Little Mermaid and I’m not so pleasant to be around.  We decided on a fancy restaurant because they serve small portions and then I don’t feel bad about eating 3/4 of my plate! So we go to this beautiful nice restaurant, and I had my child size portioned meal, and I am stuffed. The waiter brings over some delicious plate filled with chocolatey, sugary, delicious treats and I almost died. I don’t think my eyes have ever opened so wide before. I figured, it’s only Valentines Day once a year, so …I had a little bite of everything on that plate. Chocolate covered marshmallows, chocolate covered strawberries, creme brulé, cake pops. Oh, and my favorite- there was chocolate lava cake. Like actually, my favorite. Sometimes when I think like a fat girl, I imagine what it would be like to die and go to chocolate lava cake heaven, and take a bath in a chocolate jacuzzi. I’m a sick individual. Anyway, so I let myself have small bites of everything, big deal, it’s only once a year that I fall for temptations, right? WRONG!…

 

February 15 is the Jewish Chocolate Lovers favorite day of the year!! Chocolate. Cheap. 80% Off. Cheap. Chocolate. Like really, do I need to say more? I decided to stop into the pharmacy to see what kind of chocolately treats were for sale. They had those fancy delicious ones on sale from $20 to $5. Like, how could I pass that up! I picked up a box, and felt okay about it. Then I got home, and I stared at that unholy heart shaped box. It was wrapped beautifully, in shiny cheap red plastic, with a pretty bow. I spoke to myself for a while and asked if I really wanted the chocolate. I don’t know what came over me, but I decided to put them away, and give them away to someone who needed them more, Ronnie Ginger. I believe she truly enjoys chocolate, and I got my chocaddiction from her. I got good qualities from my mommy.

This Valentines Day was a success, without going into a sugar shock!

 

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Happy Surgaversary To Me!


One year ago today, at this very moment, my life changed forever. I distinctly remember driving to the hospital, worrying why I wasn’t worried. I was hungry as I hadn’t eaten any solid food two weeks prior; maybe that’s why my stomach was rumbling. The admitting department at the hospital took me in so quickly, I didn’t even have enough time to hug Donald or my Mama Ronnie Ginger. The next thing I know, I’m sitting in some room with a man telling me I’m not fat and I don’t need this surgery. He also told me to get undressed into a robe and throw all my clothes into a garbage bag, how demanding, I’m not that easy– I momentarily thought I was in prison. After getting undressed, sitting on a hospital chair half naked, and waiting in a  waiting room with terrible magazines, for what felt like an eternity. The friendly nurse in a Caribbean accent yelled my name and told me to follow her. I was so excited because it was finally happening, my life was about to change. I was so eager to wear my shower cap and slippers, but truthfully, I just wanted to hug my mommy. I was sitting in a hallway, waiting and waiting for someone to tell me what was going to happen next. All of a sudden, an overweight man gets wheeled out of the room I was about to go into. I immediately hopped out of the bed they had placed me in, and began to have second thoughts about what I was doing. Just as I was ready to leave the bed, Dr. McDreamy came over, and told me I had nothing to worry about and that he was going to go eat something; I would have offered to join him, but given my current situation, I guess it’s best I didn’t invite myself.

So I get wheeled into the room, and all I see are these big huge lights everywhere, and TV monitors, and I really felt like I was on a terrible episode of some Hospital TV Drama. Some dude out of nowhere pops his head up, and I hear him say “ready for the Propofol now…”, I respond with “Isn’t that how Michael Jackson died?”…and then I woke up. Apparently after they injected me with this marvelous sleeping aid, I fell asleep for what felt like five minutes, and they removed my beloved stomach. Well they left me with 25% of it. The only thing I remember after that is being so thirsty and wanting to burp. I asked everyone around me to burp me because I couldn’t breathe. I was the worst patient ever, and to this day I can’t believe I acted like a wild rabid goose. Fun fact, when I got wheeled into my gorgeous studio hospital suite, I was greeted by my lovely mother videotaping the entire grand entrance. Since I was too incompetent to speak a full sentence, I just yelled at her like a fat horse and told her to stop it. She then told me I act like my grandmother, and I then politely made her leave my room. How rude.

Fastforward one year, and this has been the craziest, most extreme life change I have ever gone through. I have become a different person both physically and emotionally. I’ve found a new found confidence in myself, and I’ve also found a voice for myself. I never thought the day would come when I would say that I love myself and that I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished. While I’m only halfway there, I’m still proud of myself that I was able to get here. I still have another forty more pounds to go, and I am proud of myself. I don’t compare myself to others in my situation, because everyone is different. I’ve learned to not let the little things people say get to me, and I’m really happy with that. Letting people out of my life has been a breeze, and I don’t hold on to the little things anymore. Of course I have my bad days, and I slip up, but I know that my journey isn’t done. While some people might say that I haven’t lost enough, or I’m not where I should be compared to other people, every persons body is different, and reacts to the surgery differently. Also, just another fun fact, losing the weight slower will help me in keeping it off for good. If I lost it all in five months, I know it’s easier to gain them back after, so thanks k bye. It’s really hard to say goodbye to something you love, in this case, I had to say goodbye to food. Food was just something that was always there, and always able to keep me company, and not something that ever did any good for me.

I’m eating to live now, not living to eat.

My weight loss struggle/story/battle/life is not over, and it never will be. I’m proud of who I am, and how far I have come. I know I have a lot more to go, but with the encouragement of my friends and family, and the pretty girl I see in the mirror, I know I can accomplish anything.

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