Dear Yoga Teacher

Dear Yoga Teacher, or any fitness instructor for that matter,

Thank you for thinking that I’m just as flexible as Amanda and Rihanna, however, I hate to break it to you, but I am not. I can’t even sit in child’s pose without my feet getting stuck in my butt. Isn’t child’s pose supposed to be the comfortable one when I’m relaxing? I don’t find it relaxing, I feel stressed, and also,  I need a muscle relaxant just to keep my knees on the ground, and my head in a normal position. When I have to do downward dog, I feel like I’m a 6 foot Great Dane, unable to keep myself up. I shake everywhere like I’m doing the freaking salsa in an awkward pose.  When everyone else is doing that funky thing when their feet are in the air and we have to reach, has it ever occurred to you that I have a stomach and it gets in the way? Seriously, it’s like one of the orange cones that won’t let you move. MY STOMACH IS AN ORANGE CONE.

Your enthusiasm makes me feel like I could do it, but the tire around my waist really just gets in the way.



A motivated, still fat wannabe Yogi.


  1. Rachelle Godon Amar · November 24, 2015

    Such a good post !! Hilarious. I love you. 😂❤️

    Sent from my iPhone


  2. Laurie Works · November 24, 2015

    Unfortunately it seems that too many yoga teachers are not taught how to adapt the asana poses to many types of bodies. This is frustrating to me, because yoga at its core (in my opinion) is not about having a perfectly flexible tiny body, but about finding a way to union with the Divine through whatever body you have. I hope you don’t let this discourage your asana practice! You have the perfect body, no matter what it looks like, with which to practice! 🙂

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