Screw You!


One thing I have learned post surgery, is learning to love me and learning to not let things that other people say, bother me. We all learned the sticks and stones in elementary school, we might as well practice what we were taught. When it comes to my blog, I have been told so many times that what I write  is offensive, or hurtful, or rude or mean. Frankly, I really don’t care. I also will not make this blog post to say the usual “it’s my blog, I’m going to say what I want” because I seem to say that a lot recently. But it is my blog, and I WILL say what I want.When it comes to my weight, I’ve been called every name imaginable, a pig, an oaf (I don’t even know what that means, it just sounds fat) lazy, dumb, stupid… everything.

The fat girl who used to be me, used to let people walk all over her. Used to be the person that cared too much what other people thought. I used to be so self conscious, I would bury myself in food because I didn’t want anyone to criticize me (look how that backfired, and look how far it got me! When someone insulted me, I would take it, and walk away without fighting back. Who does that? Who just takes that. Over the last nine months, I have learned to stand up for myself, and I have especially learned that the people who criticize, are the ones who have the most deep rooted issues. You see, friendly people of the blogging world, my so-called deep rooted issues, aren’t so deep. I’m not hiding anything, I’m not keeping anything a secret, or leaving it up to anyones imagination. I’m me, and shesjustpleasantlyplump.com is who I am! I say everything that comes to mind, every feeling, every emotion I have. I write it down. I truly believe that this has made me a stronger person and made me who I am today. Being able to openly discuss my struggles, and be comfortable enough to share my stories, and to share how I feel makes me a better person than anyone who has ever called me a name.

Whether it be someone on the street, a friend, a boss, whoever. People say hurtful things because they want to feel better about themselves. I’m no angel. I’ve spoken terribly about some people; but I will admit that the reasoning for that is because I’m masking something, and hiding other emotions. I’m not going to pull the Bully card out and feel bad for myself. I don’t choose to be bullied by those around me.

I use this post as one to stand up to those mean people. So here it goes, I don’t swear, so I will try to be as mean and tough as possible. To the people who are demeaning, and make you feel useless and worthless, screw you. To the people who sit behind their computer screens, and be bullies through e-mail or other social media avenues, screw you. To the people who choose to only see the bad in you, and the people who choose to believe that you’re nothing more than just a living thing, screw you.

 

I have made something of myself, and I have come so far. If you don’t like me, goodbye.

Advertisements

Blame


Image

 

What I have learned these last few months, is that nothing comes easy. That, and if I lie to myself, things will only backfire and turn out worse for me than they were at the beginning. It’s very easy to blame others for your wrongdoings. It’s easy for me to wake up and say I’m fat, I hate myself, so and so did this to me. Nothing will ever change until I actually, really admit that I am my own problem. My entire life, I’ve been blaming others for my faults. I blamed my mom for not giving me enough attention, I blamed my “father” for not being around, which caused me great psychological pain, I blamed teachers for making fun of me and calling me stupid, and blamed kids for everything else that was wrong with me.

My mom, the one who I always fought with, the one who I told ruined my life, the one that I said I hated time and time again, now turns out to be my best friend. She may still give me those motherly looks sometimes, but I know, deep down, aside from all those stupid faces and comments she may give, she appreciates me for me, and sees me for what I really am; for that child model I should have been years ago. All jokes aside, she’s one of few who have pushed me to keep going, and who truly believes I can do this. What can I blame her for? Being honest? Telling me I was fat? She was just pointing out the truth. It’s not like I didn’t see it. Maybe she wasn’t saying it in the nicest way, but she did not cause me to be fat. Her words did not put the food in my mouth. My own greasy McDonalds fingers did.

“Father”, left when I was two. No idea who he is. He calls me to tell me he loves me and misses me regularly, but to be honest, I don’t really know him. While some people may be quick to diagnose me with “Daddy Issues”, I think I’m stronger than that. I had a mom who was a father to me as well. I didn’t have a dad to buy me a car, or to run to when my mom was mean to me. Doesn’t mean the lack of his presence is the reason I’m fat.  I think being the child of a single mother makes me stronger, and makes me learn from my strong mother. That man who calls himself my father, in the end- really did absolutely nothing for me. Didn’t teach me anything, didn’t teach me values in life. I guess if he didn’t have the power to do anything for me, how could he have had the power to make me fat? In my eyes, he was powerless- therefore, can’t blame him either.

Teachers and peers were not nice in school. While I was always tall for my age, I knew I stood out. I started to get bigger when I was younger, and while stealing lunch from little kids, I guess that’s when I start to balloon. I did it to myself. I asked to be called Hillary Germs, and I asked the teachers not to like me. Teachers really didn’t like me because I was awkwardly tall, and had to stand next to them in school pictures. I was a really cute kid, and probably took the attention off them which made them really upset and not want to like me. Just a thought. I stole snacks from kids lunches, I didn’t participate in activities because I was lazy.

It’s time I stop blaming others, and just beat this disease once and for all. Feeling sorry for myself won’t make me lose weight. Looking in the mirror, and telling myself that I am fat won’t make the weight fall off. I could have turned this all around and said my mom, absent father, teachers and bullies were the reason why I am fat. No one sat me down and forced cheeseburgers down my throat, no one told me I had to take snacks from kids. No one told me I had to closet eat. No one told me I had to sneak to a fast food chain at 2:00 am.

I did it to me. I have no one to blame but me. Now that I have accepted this, I know that I can do this weight loss journey. While I have stalled, a stall is not my reason for failure, a stall should be a reminder for me to wake the f!@ up and get back on track.

A Note To Mike Jeffies, You Nasty Skinny Slimebucket


Image

 

So I was recently stumbling through the internet, because sometimes I get bored of making myself laugh. So I’m clicking, and clacking, and then all of a sudden, Facebook goes crazy and all I hear is some crazy talk from some crazy old dude from Abercrombie & Fitch. Fridays posts are usually “A Note To Skinny Girls”. I’m going to change it up a little, and make this one “A Note To Mike Jeffries, You Nasty Skinny Slimebucket”

Before I go any further, I just need to say one thing to all girls and boys out there- Fat girls/boys, Skinny Girls/Boys, “Normal Girls/Boys”, Happy Girls/Boys, do not listen to this man. He does not deserve a voice, and he should not get any attention for his cruel actions. This is the kind of person that will try to tear you down to make you feel better about yourself. This man is cruel, and even and has a monstrous personality. We are better than this individual.

So this ugly Abercrombie executive dude says moronic things during this interviews and makes this dumb statement about “failing companies”: “Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either.” Excuse me sir, but correct me if I’m wrong. These companies “that are in trouble” are going to make ten times more sales than you ever will, especially after this dumb little stunt of yours. The oogly eyed old fart goes on to say “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong”.Just a little fun fact for you Mr. Jeffries, my entire life I have struggled to find out who I was, and struggled with weight loss. I have tried so hard to be that cool kid, I have tried so hard to be the attractive all-American (Canadian) kid. You my friend, are a bully. A bully is an individual who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. I assume no one has ever called you out on your looks? Lucky guy! You have done nothing to make your brand stand out, and  To be quite honest, I’m not sure how you’re one to judge. Have you taken a look in the mirror lately? If you want to go after peoples looks, then I guess it’s my turn to bash you. However, due to the fact that I am a stronger person, and I am a better person, and that I have respect, I won’t stoop down to your level. If you really mean it when you say “I don’t want our core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing our clothing.” , then maybe you should consider only making your clothes from sizes XXS-S. Normal people such as myself, shouldn’t be wearing your clothes then Mister.

This blog is my place to be open and honest about my weight loss. Yes, I may make fun of a skinny bitch here and there, but it’s all in good fun. This weight loss is for my health, and for disgusting individuals, such as you Mr. Mike Jeffries, you should be ashamed of yourself. Us “fat people” have feelings too. You are a discriminating piece of work and I curse the day you were born (I always wanted to say that). Your company had a good thing going, I really like the perfume, but I guess since I’m fat I shouldn’t be smelling like a skinny All-American kid, right? I am proud of myself, and where I have come. I am proud to weigh over 200 pounds, and I am proud to call myself pretty. I don’t need to shop at some high end, crappy quality store with prostitute looking models.

I wish you nothing but success on your future endeavors. Hey, just one question, what size do you take, jerk?