5 Points For Me!


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I’m beginning to enjoy the little things in life. No, not Cadbury Mini Eggs, or Kinder Surprises, but little things like:

1) Looking down, and being able to see my entire foot. I have been so used to looking down and just seeing a mountain of jluge just staring back at me. I can totally tell when I need a pedicure now. I should go visit Mindy Nail, I’m due.

2) Being able to walk up a flight of stairs and not sound like a wheezing orchestra. It’s really nice now, that after walking up a flight of stairs, I’m still as silent as when I started on the first step.

Some other big accomplishments of mine are not ripping through, or breaking heels after a night out. Also, not going for the ice cream. The ice cream is killer. Ice cream just looks at me with devil eyes; especially when there’s a good sale on it. Anyway, I haven’t been near ice cream in the longest time, and to be honest, I don’t really miss it. I’ve kind of like switched it up a bit. I freeze a yogurt, blend it in the baby blender and then sprinkle chocolate chips on it. Better than ice cream. Speaking of ice cream, maybe by not having all that icy goodness, I’ve actually accomplished something BIG. Ever since my tummy tire decided to expand, I’ve always worn my pants under my jluge. For the first time in perhaps ever, my pants actually go above the jludge. Like right where the belly button should go. Like right where all the normal people and mannequins wear their pants. That’s right, I’m dressing like a mannequin now. I may not look like one yet, but someday, I know I’ll get pretty damn close.

My biggest accomplishment though, is that I’ve actually learned to tell myself when to stop. At the beginning, I would get upset when I was surrounded by food that I wasn’t allowed to eat, or that I couldn’t eat. It was hard to see everyone around me eat whatever they wanted. I’d ask myself time and time again why I decided to do this surgery, and then suddenly one day it clicked, and it all made sense. Now, when I’m full, I will stop. No matter how delicious that piece of salmon sashimi looks, it doesn’t look as good as what a healthy me may look like. I’ve learned to not eat to the point where I get sick, and I’ve also learned not to let what other people say get to me.

On that note, people are entitled to form what ever kind of image or idea they want about me. I would too. I mean, this blog has my deepest and darkest and sickest, twisted secrets, so why wouldn’t people have something to talk about? They can think whatever they want. At the end of the day, I know my limits, I know how to live my new way of life. I know what I’m doing. When you have your stomach surgically removed, then come back to me, and tell me how easy it is. I’m not saying I’m innocent, and I’m not saying I was perfect. No one is perfect, and of course I made mistakes. I am on track, and will stay there. I am happy, and no one, and nothing can bring me down.

 

 

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A Note To Mike Jeffies, You Nasty Skinny Slimebucket


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So I was recently stumbling through the internet, because sometimes I get bored of making myself laugh. So I’m clicking, and clacking, and then all of a sudden, Facebook goes crazy and all I hear is some crazy talk from some crazy old dude from Abercrombie & Fitch. Fridays posts are usually “A Note To Skinny Girls”. I’m going to change it up a little, and make this one “A Note To Mike Jeffries, You Nasty Skinny Slimebucket”

Before I go any further, I just need to say one thing to all girls and boys out there- Fat girls/boys, Skinny Girls/Boys, “Normal Girls/Boys”, Happy Girls/Boys, do not listen to this man. He does not deserve a voice, and he should not get any attention for his cruel actions. This is the kind of person that will try to tear you down to make you feel better about yourself. This man is cruel, and even and has a monstrous personality. We are better than this individual.

So this ugly Abercrombie executive dude says moronic things during this interviews and makes this dumb statement about “failing companies”: “Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either.” Excuse me sir, but correct me if I’m wrong. These companies “that are in trouble” are going to make ten times more sales than you ever will, especially after this dumb little stunt of yours. The oogly eyed old fart goes on to say “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong”.Just a little fun fact for you Mr. Jeffries, my entire life I have struggled to find out who I was, and struggled with weight loss. I have tried so hard to be that cool kid, I have tried so hard to be the attractive all-American (Canadian) kid. You my friend, are a bully. A bully is an individual who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. I assume no one has ever called you out on your looks? Lucky guy! You have done nothing to make your brand stand out, and  To be quite honest, I’m not sure how you’re one to judge. Have you taken a look in the mirror lately? If you want to go after peoples looks, then I guess it’s my turn to bash you. However, due to the fact that I am a stronger person, and I am a better person, and that I have respect, I won’t stoop down to your level. If you really mean it when you say “I don’t want our core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing our clothing.” , then maybe you should consider only making your clothes from sizes XXS-S. Normal people such as myself, shouldn’t be wearing your clothes then Mister.

This blog is my place to be open and honest about my weight loss. Yes, I may make fun of a skinny bitch here and there, but it’s all in good fun. This weight loss is for my health, and for disgusting individuals, such as you Mr. Mike Jeffries, you should be ashamed of yourself. Us “fat people” have feelings too. You are a discriminating piece of work and I curse the day you were born (I always wanted to say that). Your company had a good thing going, I really like the perfume, but I guess since I’m fat I shouldn’t be smelling like a skinny All-American kid, right? I am proud of myself, and where I have come. I am proud to weigh over 200 pounds, and I am proud to call myself pretty. I don’t need to shop at some high end, crappy quality store with prostitute looking models.

I wish you nothing but success on your future endeavors. Hey, just one question, what size do you take, jerk?

Finally Fitting In


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OK, don’t hate me, but I’m going to get all mushy for a second. I was out last night with Donald and his coworkers; Carla, Mr. La Hyman, Willow, Adamo and Sasha. For the first time since I was able to like speak, I finally felt “normal”. I know, I know, there is no such thing as normal, and everyone is special in their own special way. No, whoever made that up (Oprah, probably you), you must have been on crack because weird people are weird, and enjoy hanging out with other weird people and don’t feel cool. Popular kids hang out with the popular people, and like to feel like they’re better than everyone else around them. Society made that up, not me. Don’t hate me because I speak the truth. KK, thanks! Ok so anyway, last night,  I totally just felt like I fit in, and I was making jokes and totally felt cool for like that night. I think I’m getting more comfortable with myself.

I hope Donald doesn’t get mad, but I totally saw this dude checking me out when we walked into the bar and he kept giving me googly eyes, and I was all like “yeah, I’m hot, I know it”. I won’t lie, but I totally had “I’m Sexy and I Know it” playing at the time this creeper was checking my hot bod out. Anyway, it boosted up my confidence level a bit, and now I’m totally excited to go out again and be the life of the party.

So when I was fat(ter), I was always super loud, and obnoxious and strange and made really odd sounds, and my mom thought that there was a kind of like, chemical imbalance in my brain. I went to doctors, and they all said the same thing. (I don’t remember, probably that I had ADHHHHHD or something). Dr. Me, has come to the conclusion that I was just masking the pain of being a fat girl. I would do so, by being a loud obnoxious “oaf”. So to try to get the attention off of my body, I would just try to be strange. Anyway, not sure where I’m going with this, but I’m totally able to be loud and obnoxious now, and do it just because I want to, and not because I’m fat and trying to cover being the Michelin Man.

Ps. Hey Skinny Girls,

I love you. We’re BFFAEAE.

xo

Soon-to-be Skinny Girl

A Note To Chubby Girls


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Dear Chubby Plump Girls,

Listen to my wise words. Don’t listen to anyone that tells you that your face is so beautiful, don’t let the bullying skinny girls get to you, don’t let your fears get in the way of anything. I wasted twenty four years of my life being sad, and feeling like I was worthless. I am so happy right now and I am in the greatest place. I have never been more in love with myself, and I don’t have anyone to thank but myself, and Dr. McDreamy, well because, you know.

I had dinner last night with a lovely young girl who inspires me so much. She has so much confidence and doesn’t care what other people think. She puts herself above the skinny b!@#$ and she’s the cool and fun one that everyone wants to be friends with. When I was that same age, I couldn’t believe the awkward mess I was. I would walk around with my head down and look like a loser, or start laughing like a hyena just to get some attention (that just made it worse though, because then I would attract attention to my large self). It’s also so nice to see how much love surrounds this amazing girl, I wish I had that kind of support growing up.  Jemima, you will accomplish great things, I love the way you love yourself, and I am so jealous of your level of confidence!

Confidence doesn’t come easy, just as you start losing weight. It’s something you need to learn and it’s hard to love something you’ve hated for 24 years. It’s a slow process, but I’m loving it every step of the way.

Love Always,

Just the obese girl

(I’m no longer morbidly obese, just regular obese, I dropped out of the morbid category this week. GO ME!)

Nothing But Smiles


This past Friday, I did my usual A Note to Skinny Girls. Not only did I get the most feedback, and comments on a post, but I was also confronted by the bully herself. To be honest, at the beginning, I was furious, and upset and wanted to ramble more about what she and others had done to me during childhood. After thinking about this for about a minute  ten minutes, I just stopped being angry, and then the biggest smile came on my face. My blog has made it so far to the point that it is affecting people around me. My characters in my blogs all have made up names, and the fact that someone took the time to study my post and really look into it, makes me feel so great.

Now, there were a couple of things that were mentioned to me that I would just like to clarify with the blog world.

1) Bullying is a bad bad thing. Bullying happens no matter what your weight, age, height, color, income. This blog is aimed at helping fat girls, or kids in general. I am telling my personal story and doing so in a humorous way. It’s been over fifteen years since I’ve been bullied. I will not blame one person for the way I turned out, but I will sometimes go back and think about how poorly I was treated. I do not see any harm in doing that.

2) I don’t hate skinny people. In fact I love them. Skinny people are people too, and I understand that at times they could get bullied for their looks as well. Some people are born with good genes and some people aren’t. I just happened to get the fat genes, unlike most of the people around me.

3) In order to get this surgery, I needed to go through a long process of therapy as well as questioning and hard thinking if this was the right thing to do. Clearly I was ready for this, as the doctors approved of this surgery and were ready to cut me open.

4) Healthy is my goal, not skinny.

I won’t dwell on this subject any longer, as there is no point in continuing to ramble about the same garbage. I am happy now. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Things just seem to be looking up, and the scale just seems to be going down.

If you don’t like what I have to say, there’s that red “x” at the top of your window; go ahead and close that and go play on Facebook and stalk some people you haven’t spoken to in years.

I don’t blame anyone for the way I turned out, I can’t! I can only be proud of myself for the person I’m becoming.

 

35 pounds down! Look at that huge smile on my face!

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A Note To Skinny Girls


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Dear Young Skinny Children of Elementary School,

Be nice to the awkward funny fat kid. If not, your life will be hell. If you think calling that plump little girl or boy some sort of disease, or feel like making fun of them to make you feel better about yourself, shut up, turn around and stop. Fat people are just like you, fat people have feelings too. Don’t sit there and make fun of an innocent little fat kid just because you want to feel better about yourself. Just because you’re having a terrible time at home, and you’re the outcast of your own family, doesn’t mean you need to take it to the playground and put it on someone else.

In elementary school, specifically grade two, I remember that shorter “friend”, who decided it would be nice to make “Helga**Germs” a trending topic around school. Are you serious you shrimp, just because you’re three feet tall, you’re going to take out your anger on the girl who’s ten times prettier than you’ll ever be? Look at you now,  and now look back at me… I’m happy, you’re in the same sad place you were years ago. Also, I would really appreciate it if you gave me back my play-doh you stole from my desk in grade 4. I know it was you, your eye does this wonky thing when you lie.

Skinny children everywhere, listen to my inspirational words. Don’t make fun of those fat awkward kids, they’re going to be your bosses in twenty years from now.

Signed,

Getting there skinny girl