A Note To Skinny Girls


Hey Skinny Girls,

Are you ready to have a new friend soon? I don’t understand the skinny girls that can go all day just drinking a tea and saying they’re not hungry.  I really thought I was going to pass out yesterday for eating nothing but vomit smelling protein shakes, but I did it. Nine days to go! I hope that when I start losing weight that skinny girls won’t be mad at me for all the horrible things I said about them. I know that I will wear a Canada Goose jacket too, and I’ll be a lot colder next year because I won’t have any layers of fat to protect me. One thing I can promise plump girls everywhere, is that I will not be the type of skinny healthy girl that complains how ugly I feel or how much I really need to lose weight.

So far, on day three of liquid diet, I am four pounds down! Each day I am getting more and more friendly and less like a grumpy hungry girl.

Love Always,

Soon to be skinny healthy girl

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Hey Hey Skinny Girls


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Apparently, this post is mean, skinny girls, I love you. I’m just trying to get a bigger following! xoxo

What’s up skinny girls! Happy Friday to you! I’m loving the snow today, how about you? You know, I feel like skinny girls are super cold in the winter. All they have is their bones and stupid fall jackets and uggs that keep their feet cold and wet. I don’t feel sorry for you, eat something you skinny B!@#$, you could use some warmth this winter. You know what I LOVE? Seeing skinny people fall. HA! You skinny people have no balance, you’re all holding onto poles on the side of the road, and freezing your skinny boney bums off. I make natural heat! I just figured it out! That’s why they wear those silly looking Canada Goose jackets. Thanks to my darling friend at work Lucia Bernstein, who gave me a yummy afternoon treat yesterday, my toes were a little bit warmer this morning!  Sucks for you cold skinny people,  this warmth is free, you need to pay hundreds for yours. I WIN!