Tanning Is Slimming



Now that Hefty Helga has sadly passed on, there is officially nothing in my way stopping me from losing weight. The scale has been at the same place for the last three weeks, and then finally yesterday, when I got on the scale before my scheduled date, it had finally moved down two pounds. I’ll take it, and it’s better than going up two pounds.

I figure that summer is a great time for me to really put my mind to this weight loss again, and actually stick to it. I mean, not only because I’ll be tan, and we all know dark is slimming, but because I’ll have a lot more time to sit outside to tan, than to sit inside and eat snacks all day. Speaking of snacks, snacks are killer. I could just eat snacks all day. Snacks are delicious. Even the word snack sounds delicious, snack, snack snack. I sound hungry, but really I’m full. I just wish sometimes I could occupy myself with other thoughts instead of wondering when my next snack will be.

I haven’t been in a bathing suit since I was at my fattest last year. Well, I just lied. I was in a bathing suit last night. Around my apartment. Alone. Dancing to some Island beats. Just strutting by myself, seeing how I liked it. Genius didn’t seem to think I looked that bad, because he just stared at me panting, and didn’t even bark at the sight of me in swimwear.  It didn’t look that great, however looked better than last year. I wasn’t popping out of all the seams and not going to lie, I actually felt pretty damn good. (Would have looked better with a tan though)

Anyway, dark is slimming, better get back out there in the sun.

Lazy Me

I AM SO LAZY! My favorite pastime is doing NOTHING.

So I have a dog, I really think I’m a terrible pet owner because, instead of actually walking my dog, I bring a ball with me out on these so-called “walks”, sit on the grass and throw the ball at him so he gets exercise- and I wonder why the vet has diagnosed him with obesity! Like mommy, like son. Anyway, more about my dog, lets just call him Genius for fun. He really takes after me. He loves running into walls, sleeping all day, cuddling, rolling in mud (I just like to get my clothes dirty, same thing). Anything that can go wrong with Genius, does- he flies into a tree, thus getting burrs stuck on his face, we had to shave his face and leave him with a hairy body, he has a collapsed lung, so he breathes funny, he’s sprained his paws a couple of times, gotten trees stuck in paws, ear infections almost weeklyImage.


He’s just a klutz and I love him. I think I love him most because I can tell him all my secrets and he won’t judge me. I wish he didn’t have to pee at 3 am though. That wasn’t nice last night, Genius!