To My Grandma


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On November 5th 2014,  I suffered a great loss. My wonderful, amazing, beautiful grandmother passed away. My grandmother,  was my best friend, and someone who I spoke to everyday. Being the oldest grandchild, I knew I was lucky to have both my grandparents at 26, so I made sure to speak to her everyday, sometimes even twice a day. I knew that I wouldn’t have them forever, so I made sure to speak to them as much as I could. She would never let me speak to my grandfather, because she wanted me all to herself. My Grammy made it a point to judge, criticize, and comment when necessary, and she really had no filter; but I loved every moment of it! It feels so weird not to be able to call her anymore, this is the longest we’ve gone without speaking.

In the end, my grammy had a very weak heart, and she was in so much pain, but was too proud to say anything. Grammy was such a fighter and really wanted to live forever. Her heart was too weak and was not able to handle all the love she had for all her kids, grandkids and her soulmate- my Papakins!

Aside from Donald, and Mommy Ginger, my Grammy was the one person who really helped me stay on track with my weight loss and who pushed me to succeed. She knew as well as anyone, that my biggest fight was to get under 200 pounds. This is something that  I have been struggling with for the last 15 years of my life. For the last 6 months I have bounced near ONEDERLAND, but was never able to actually make it. My weight loss for the last two months has gone from 215.3 to 205.7 to 202.4 to 201.3 to 200.6 to 200.3. On the morning of November 5 2014, the day my grandma left us, I suffered not only one great loss, but two.  I got on the scale, because I felt a change within myself… to my surprise, the scale had shown me something I haven’t seen in a decade and a half… a ONE, on the scale. I got on and weighed 199.2….WITH CLOTHES! This may be so little to most people, this is something extremely huge for me, and is such a milestone in my life.

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While I know my Grammy is no longer with us in person, she is definitely with me in spirit. I don’t think I could have ever done this without her. I think that was her way of telling me that she is still here and watching over me. I never believed in that kind of stuff, but to me, it doesn’t seem like a coincidence.

Grandma, wherever you are, know that I love you, and I think about you everyday. Thank you for helping me succeed, and making me who I am today. I couldn’t have done it without you. I will never stop thinking about you, and I thank you for watching over us.

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A Note To Chubby Girls


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Dear Chubby Plump Girls,

Listen to my wise words. Don’t listen to anyone that tells you that your face is so beautiful, don’t let the bullying skinny girls get to you, don’t let your fears get in the way of anything. I wasted twenty four years of my life being sad, and feeling like I was worthless. I am so happy right now and I am in the greatest place. I have never been more in love with myself, and I don’t have anyone to thank but myself, and Dr. McDreamy, well because, you know.

I had dinner last night with a lovely young girl who inspires me so much. She has so much confidence and doesn’t care what other people think. She puts herself above the skinny b!@#$ and she’s the cool and fun one that everyone wants to be friends with. When I was that same age, I couldn’t believe the awkward mess I was. I would walk around with my head down and look like a loser, or start laughing like a hyena just to get some attention (that just made it worse though, because then I would attract attention to my large self). It’s also so nice to see how much love surrounds this amazing girl, I wish I had that kind of support growing up.  Jemima, you will accomplish great things, I love the way you love yourself, and I am so jealous of your level of confidence!

Confidence doesn’t come easy, just as you start losing weight. It’s something you need to learn and it’s hard to love something you’ve hated for 24 years. It’s a slow process, but I’m loving it every step of the way.

Love Always,

Just the obese girl

(I’m no longer morbidly obese, just regular obese, I dropped out of the morbid category this week. GO ME!)

O-M-G!


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I am now officially twenty days into this new lifestyle change, and have taken off 26 pounds. While that may be a whole lot of weight for a normal person, I don’t seem to notice much of a difference. However, last night something huge happened, out of this world huge! So I’m getting into bed, and before I do, I do my usual routine ; I brush my teeth, wash my face, get ready, then lastly, I get on the scale, check the mirror to see if I notice any changes. I didn’t really notice anything until I saw what I’ve been waiting forever for– MY COLLAR BONES ARE COMING IN! I swear, and it wasn’t like I needed to make a duckface Facebook picture from an awkward angle to get my collar bone to show. It was just there, naturally, without me trying. I could lie to everyone and say that I went to bed right away and didn’t make a big deal, but I’m no liar. I did a fashion show at 1:30 am to see which of my clothes would show off my new bony friends, and proceeded to google collar bones and then Facebook stalk some skinny girls. The slight visibility is not me saying I have lost all this weight, but I am just so thrilled and things are actually working. To all you “normal” people, having collar bones is probably just a normal thing and you don’t really care, and I’m sure you find a reason to hate them, like you hate everything else about yourself (sorry, fat girl is coming out again), but to me this is HUGE. I have never been more thrilled.

I need to go warm up some of Mama’s Homemade Pureed Soup….Yum!

A Note To Skinny Girls


Last week I was a little, very mean to the skinny girls. My apologies. Well not really, but I’ll say I am so you continue to read my hilarious blog. Anyway, I know skinny people have feelings too and it hurts their feelings when people make fun of their skininess, it’s the same for fat people. Except in elementary school you’re part of the cool crowd and no one makes fun of you for being the skinny kid who can’t run to first base in soccer baseball; only the fat kids who kick the ball in the opposite direction and can’t make it to first without being smacked by the ball get made fun of. So, because skinny girls were mean to me in school, it’s my turn to retaliate. If you don’t like it, I don’t care. Anyway, so this whole new “loose fitting” clothing is in style, and I was beginning to think that all these big names were making clothes for the fatty boombas plump girls. Anyway, these loose fitting shirts, fit me perfectly, and I’m starting a new trend. Skinny people have it so easy. Everything looks so good on them. Even if it’s too tight it looks good. I got yelled at when I tried to wear a belly shirt at twelve. What did I know? I thought it was cute

The Gym Part II


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Listen, I’m all for going to the gym. Actually, not so much, but I’m all for positive attitude about going to the gym. Mine is perfectly located in between old people village and old people city, perfect right? Wrong! I go to my gym and take these classes with old ladies that are ten times more fit than me, and can move their bodies in Zumba that I never thought I would be able to. I thought joining would make me feel better, but these old bubbies just shut me down! I’m tired after the first dance- who am I kidding, I’m a liar, I’ve finished an entire bottle of water and exhausted after the warmup! Story of a fat plump girl. I think different people should attend different gyms. Meaning, there should be a gym for those fat folks, a gym for the stupid lanky looking kids that really aren’t fooling anyone by doing a 0 incline and a speed of 2, a gym for the athletic skinny people who are just there to look in the mirror and look at all the other athletic muscular skinny people and have muscular skinny people chats with each other, and then a gym for the oldies. It’s just so discouraging when I’m on the treadmill and I see this B!@#$ next to me having a jolly old time there just trotting away, no sweat, no messy hair, just a fun flowy run. FYI fun fit girl at the gym with no worries in the world— I hate you.