Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my birthday

I will eat cake

I will eat cake, because if I don’t, then it won’t be a true birthday

I won’t eat a whole piece

Just a bite

I don’t care about the looks I get

Because it’s my birthday

Have a nice day

Confidence Boost



Donald Cho will most probably not like this post. However, I think I should share with the world that I am quite happy that since surgery, due to the fact that I have been hit on quite a number of times. More times than I can imagine in my entire life. Now, these men who hit on me, are no Brad Pitt, most have at least four missing teeth, and I think only one of them knew how to say a full sentence in English.

Here are my encounters:

Waiting in the metro, this dude comes up to me, buck teeth and all. He looks me up and down and then with this grin, opens his mouth:

Weirdo: Dayuuuuuum Girl, you looking fiiiine. You got the Facebook?

Me: (German accent): Me, no book face, I no from country. Tank you

Weirdo: Girl, you know what I sayin’, you got the Facebook in Germany

Me: No no sir, No habla English.


Then maybe two days later, I see this odd looking thing. To be honest, I thought he was a homeless man asking me for change, so I tried to be nice. It turns out he was around fifty. I thought he was asking me if I had a tomato, but really he wanted my number.

Old Man: Hello Lady, you are looking quite fine tonight, can I have your tomato?

Me: I don’t have a tomato

Old Man: Can I have your number?

I casually walked away, because I didn’t want him to feel bad about the fact that I wasn’t interested in him or his tomato talk. He had this stench of beets coming from him, and I have a boyfriend. Like, get real sir. Also, maybe you should call your dentist, because something is really wrong up in there.

Two days ago, I was walking Genius in the alley. I know, I know, call me an idiot. I was asking for D’Shawn to start talking to me. No seriously, his name was D’Shawn, he told me as I was running away from him. Genius ran into an alley and I followed him there, because clearly I’m the genius. All of a sudden, this voice with no face hiding behind a car, starts talking to me and asking me personal questions about my life.

D’Shawn: Cute dog, what’s your name?

Me: Genius

D’Shawn: That’s a tough name for a cute little girl like you

Me: No, my dog is Genius. I don’t have a name

D’Shawn: Girl, where you livin?

Me: Nowhere

D’Shawn: I got an extra bed, wanna stay with me

Me: No

D’Shawn (as he follows me back to my apartment) Girl, don’t you walk away from me. I’m offering you shelter, for you and your dog for free.

Me: I’m cool bro.

Anyway, Genius and I walked two blocks away, and needless to say, I’ve been searching for a new apartment ever since. It’s been quite  week.

Guys, you’ve all been sweet! Thanks so much for boosting my confidence

Lunch Time Laughs

Rhoda-Clarice, Barb, Lucinda and I all had lunch just now. I enjoyed eating with them because they don’t look at me with big eyes, wondering how I’m going to eat. I eat just like them now… like birds. I didn’t sing because I was busy laughing. I was telling the table how in 1988 I was the longest baby born, and then Barb asked “in width?”… like how big did you think I was Barb, a 60 pound baby? We had a good laugh. I was always a skinny baby. I have a theory that fat babies always turn out to be the skinny ones later in life, and skinny babies turn out to be the fat ones. Hope I have a super fat baby!

I did something today that I never thought in a million years I would do. In front of everyone, I lifted up my shirt to show my sexy new scars. Thirty pounds ago, I never would have been able to do that. I still am a little shy about it, but I also know that I will never be this way again. It’s all going down from here.

It’s so nice for me to see that people are actually noticing a change in me, because I really don’t. It could be partly because of my scale addiction, and also partly with the fact that I look at myself everyday. Last week Ronnie Ginger told me how happy she was with me, and really noticed a change. She said “I don’t look at you like a fat person anymore”. Most people with think that’s rude and mean, but I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.


I posted my before picture just so the world can get an idea of my beautiful face…