Recipe: Asian Tuna Rice Paper Wrap


Everything tastes better with a little bit of an Asian flare. So I decided to cut the all flour tortillas for a 15 calorie rice paper wrap instead. It kind of tastes like a cheap mans sushi, but it is so damn delish.

What You Will Need:

– 1 can of tuna (I like white, because I’m fancy like that)
– Light Mayonnaise (this is a low fat recipe, but if you need the good fat stuff, you can substitute it)
– 1 green onion
– Black and White sesame seeds
– Chia seeds
– 1 Avocado
– Kale (or any type of lettuce. Kale is in right now and has a good crunch)
– A splash of soy sauce
– Cilantro (optional)

Directions:

1. Mix That Tuna

Drain the tuna, and add in, one tablespoon of light mayonnaise, with chopped up green onion, black and white sesame seeds, chia seeds, a splash of soy sauce and salt and pepper to taste. The green onion is for an extra crunch; alternatively, you can add pickles, cucumbers, or celery.

2. Build The Wrap

The round rice papers are usually easiest for non professional rice paper rollers. It’s taken me a long time to master the art, and I think I’ve finally got it! The first step to your rice paper, is to soak it in hot water for about thirty seconds until it’s mushy. Once done, place this on a flat surface to ensure optimal rolling. For a nice design, lay out the sliced avocado nicely, and place the kale or non fancy lettuce in the middle of the rice paper. Add tuna, and any other ingredients to the wrap. I am obsessed with cilantro, and it’s one of those things that you either love or hate, so add any additional greens or colored vegetables to make it filling and delicious.

3.Wrap The Wrap

Once all your ingredients are in your rice paper roll, lift the edge of the rice paper wrap closest to you, and gently fold it over the entire contents of the wrap. Tuck the filling in to ensure that everything stays wrapped tight. Fold in the ends and then roll it over one last time so it looks like a pretty little rice envelope. Like a tube shaped envelope.

Cut it in half, and post an Instagram of your healthy lunch, then you can dig in and enjoy!

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Moving In


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So, I realize that I have been absent for a while. While many might think that I have been busy stuffing my face with fried chicken, I have actually been busy in a new chapter in my life. Donald and I have decided to move in together. We signed our names on that paper (pretty much signing our lives away) and now we’re big fat roommates. This last few weeks has been hard on us, and I’ve turned to food for comfort. Which I know is totally wrong, but I’m admitting that I have a problem and I’m dealing with it- I threw out the frozen yogurt, and I’m only snacking on cucumber.  It seems as though Donald and I are mini fashionista interior decorators, and we didn’t even know about it. Our ideas have been clashing, thus leading to fights every five minutes. While I feel bad about it, it’s better that we fight now, than when we’re living together, right? We’re just going to get it all out now, because from this point, he’s pretty much stuck with me forever. We picked the most beautiful couch, ever! It’s a sectional, it’s gorgeous, and there’s a perfect little corner that will have my butt imprinted in it within 4 weeks of moving in to our new place. Speaking of couches, how come no one ever tells you how expensive a couch is when you’re a child? Like seriously, a couch is a serious expense, I had no idea. I feel broke just looking at couches.

While I know this is a good thing, to be moving in together, I’m also a little nervous; and rightfully so…I’ll have to start cooking for two now. I usually cook for just one, and I love having leftovers. I’m not good at sharing.  I’ve given myself mini nightmares, wondering how I’m supposed to share my delicious leftover crock pot recipes? Donald doesn’t usually like my crock pot creations; but I think this is mostly because of the reason that it comes out of a crock pot, and he thinks crock pots are weird. I think crock pots are genius inventions for the lazy. Also, another worry, is sharing the bathroom. I’ve lived with other people before, and sharing a bathroom is never fun. Now, I’ll be sharing one with a boy. I don’t mean to be rude to Donald and all, but his poop does not smell anywhere near the smell of roses. Sorry D! My Donald has very expensive taste, when it comes to furniture and home furnishings; and also when it comes to food. Maybe we’ll keep our fridge stocked with caviar and tongue and like some sort of pig meat and then I won’t want to eat any snacks when I’m sitting at home on the couch like a lazy slob.

At the end of the day, I am so excited to be moving in with my best friend. I get to move out of my first floor dungeon apartment, I get to have a sleepover every night, I get someone to wash the dishes (well I got a dishwasher, and the dishwasher is my new special someone). I have someone to play Scrabble with, rather than playing with my random Mexican friend Jorge at 3:00am (does he really know what a terrawatt is, or did he just Google that in the scrabble dictionary, because that is cheating, sir!) I’m so happy for this new adventure with my best friend!

 

 

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Changes Are Good


So I went to Uncle Shnotty and Auntie Anastasias house this weekend to visit and show them how amazing I look. Only 1 of 3 children were there… the most entertaining one- R! Usually R likes to grab me inappropriately or rest his head on my “pillows”. For the first time ever, little almost 7 year old R, didn’t touch me like I was a life-sized doll, he just hugged me and I felt so normal. That’s how I know that I lost some weight. 

Also, on that note, I must also tell the world that I tried on jeans today for the first time since surgery. THEY FIT! I still have the saggy leg part, but I’m happy because I’m not wearing my fat girl jeans anymore. (Not that I ever wore fat girl jeans, they just looked like fat girl jeans because I liked to wear them so high…or so low, depending on the outfit.)

Today is a good day, I’m happy, and still breathing in my not so tight jeans!

A Note To Skinny Girls


Dear Skinny Girls,

I finally know what it feels like to be one of you when it comes to eating. Like yesterday at lunch for example, I had one bite of chicken and then I said “Oh, I’m full”… I felt amazing because I was actually full, and I didn’t need to lie about it and have to starve myself. I’m actually getting a lot of attention now everywhere I go. People say I look good, and that I’m eating so little, and always asking me questions. In twenty-five years, I have never felt so popular. Except for when I was a baby of course and everyone wanted to come up to me and play with me and tell me how beautiful I was and how much I should be a model blah blah blah.

I’m starting to like this new me, this new attitude (even though two days ago I was upset that I can’t eat as much) I’ve seen skinny people that when they lose their popularity, they lose their mind and eat everything in sight, because they’ve never really had the opportunity to enjoy food like a fat girl does… that won’t be the case for me, because I’m starting the skinny girl diet 25 years after you!

Love,

Almost Skinny Girl

Mind of a Fat Girl


I wish that when the doctors did my surgery, along with taking out the 85% of my stomach, they also took the 85% of my brain that makes me think like a fat person. I’m not even hungry, I know I’m not. But I just like the taste of food. I like to wonder what I’m going to eat for each meal of the day, and how it’s going to taste, and how I’m going to make it. While I’m on purees this week, I’m trying to think of different ways I can make it taste better. I’ll have tartare instead of having pureed fish soup; gross.

I’ll go and think like a fat person, and will put something in my mouth, and then my teeny tiny stomach will remind me that I can’t take so much. This whole journey is a huge process to take in, and people don’t seem to understand that I can’t change overnight– I’m talking to you Ronnie. As sick as it is, I still think about what my next meal will be, and what my first meal on solid food will taste like. I want filet mignon, we all know that.

I wish I could start thinking with a healthy brain rather than a fat girl brain. Too bad they haven’t come up with a surgery for that yet.