A Note To Skinny Girls

Hey Skinny Girls,

Are you ready to have a new friend soon? I don’t understand the skinny girls that can go all day just drinking a tea and saying they’re not hungry.  I really thought I was going to pass out yesterday for eating nothing but vomit smelling protein shakes, but I did it. Nine days to go! I hope that when I start losing weight that skinny girls won’t be mad at me for all the horrible things I said about them. I know that I will wear a Canada Goose jacket too, and I’ll be a lot colder next year because I won’t have any layers of fat to protect me. One thing I can promise plump girls everywhere, is that I will not be the type of skinny healthy girl that complains how ugly I feel or how much I really need to lose weight.

So far, on day three of liquid diet, I am four pounds down! Each day I am getting more and more friendly and less like a grumpy hungry girl.

Love Always,

Soon to be skinny healthy girl

Shut Up Food Eaters

This liquid diet sucks. Shut up everyone, telling me it’s the first day to the rest of my life I’m trying to smile but I’m miserable. I am fat, I need food. I have pains in my stomach, and I’m tempted to cut off my tummy and start eating that. I can grill it with some garlic and saltless seasonings, that’s on my diet, right? I know it will be worth it someday, but right now I think I am entitled to be an angry, rude, hungry brat. If you don’t like, don’t read my blog, don’t call me. (I could use a phone call though, I’ve been a little lonely). Also Morris Levinstein says that I should inform everyone of the pain I feel. It feels a little bit like there is a baby porcupine sitting inside my stomach rolling around inside me and poking me. Damn porcupine.

Also, I would appreciate if people around me would stop eating and stop telling me that I should have some cake. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I NEED CAKE? I don’t think I have ever gone this long food-less. I mean, I am proud of myself for making it through 30 hours. I’m hoping I can make it to 264 hours…. that’s all that’s left until the surgery.