#cleaneating


So lately, all I see on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, is people eating “clean” and “healthy”. I really don’t know what this means, but I have a pretty good idea. Clean eating; we should eat and drink windex, mr.clean, vim, right? I get it, no McDonalds, no Wendy’s, basically nothing fried? I kind of want to fit in, so I’m getting really annoying on all social media websites, and adding pictures of everything I eat, and the food I don’t finish. When it comes to taking my instagram shots, no matter the angle, or lighting, somehow my food pictures always manage to look like puke on a plate. However, I’ve managed to go along with the whole clean eating thing, and I can make a bagel and a hard boiled egg look fantastic!  I kind of feel good, and really happy that I’ve gotten through 2 days. I have to say though, I know I should feel great and really happy and more energized, but every time I walk by that unholy vending machine, I just want to stick my hand in and take one of those White Chocolate Kit Kat Bars. I’m still trying to figure out how to walk by it and not get Helga aroused.

I’m not going to lie, I kind of really enjoy packing lunches now. I feel like a Mommy preparing lunches for the kiddies, except it’s me packing my lunch full of snacks and different food merchandise. Healthy eating, and preparing can be a little fun, I guess!

I’m going to try this new fun thing where I add my daily menu to the blog, and see if that helps in motivating me.

Breakfast:

– 1/4 bagel

– 1 hard boiled egg

– 1 pcs. provolone cheese

Snack: (the best part of my day)

– Tuna & Crackers snack pack

Lunch:

– 3 oz. smoked turkey

– 15 almonds

– 1 cucumber

Afternoon Snack: (Second best part of my day)

– Activia Yogurt

– 100 Calorie Pack of Cookies

Dinner: (currently being crocked in the pot)

– meatballs stuffed with an insane amount of spinach in tomato sauce

 

I’m well aware that there’s a lot of food going on here, however, since my weight hadn’t moved in a long time, I decided to switch the diet up a bit to see if anything would change. Obviously the two snacks weren’t the greatest option, however, when I have lunch at 12, it’s easy to get hungry bored during the day. Between 1-5 those are my two snacks. It may be bad, but at least I’m not shoving a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese down my throat.

 

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Karma Is A Runt


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As most people know already, I have no patience. I have absolutely no patience for stupid people, for annoying people, or even for rainbows and butterflies. I especially do not have patience for the people who ask me for food while I am sitting peacefully enjoying my deliciousness. My food is my food people. Didn’t your Mommy pack you a lunch today? Ridiculous that I need to pack my delicious lunch for you to harass me while I eat it.

Backtrack like fifteen years when I was in elementary school. My mom packed me the best lunch ever that had Dunk-A-Roos , and everyone would sit by my desk and watch me eat them. Like people seriously. Enough already. At least ask me for a trade, and then maybe then I’ll consider. But if you just want a bite, I’m not giving it up so easy. However, looking back, I think it’s karma. When I was in grade 1, the teacher punished me for pressing the buttons on the computer in the library. She told me to stand outside in the corner. While I was standing outside, I noticed a lunchbox just sitting there with no ones name on it. I decided to be curious, and open this lunchbox. Rummaging through, I saw an apple, pudding, tomato sandwich (ew) and then  I saw RUNTS. You know those treatsy candies shaped like fruits and stain your tongue? Ya, those! I figured since this box of treats was just hanging out, with no name and no owner, that I would take the runts and eat them. Now that I think about it, it was ever since that day that people come and ask me for my food.

To the little girl or boy who those Runts belonged to. I am sorry, if you tell me who you are, I will buy you another box, just to make this nightmare of people asking me for bites to go away. Please accept my apologies.

Mind of a Fat Girl


I wish that when the doctors did my surgery, along with taking out the 85% of my stomach, they also took the 85% of my brain that makes me think like a fat person. I’m not even hungry, I know I’m not. But I just like the taste of food. I like to wonder what I’m going to eat for each meal of the day, and how it’s going to taste, and how I’m going to make it. While I’m on purees this week, I’m trying to think of different ways I can make it taste better. I’ll have tartare instead of having pureed fish soup; gross.

I’ll go and think like a fat person, and will put something in my mouth, and then my teeny tiny stomach will remind me that I can’t take so much. This whole journey is a huge process to take in, and people don’t seem to understand that I can’t change overnight– I’m talking to you Ronnie. As sick as it is, I still think about what my next meal will be, and what my first meal on solid food will taste like. I want filet mignon, we all know that.

I wish I could start thinking with a healthy brain rather than a fat girl brain. Too bad they haven’t come up with a surgery for that yet.