Donald Cho will most probably not like this post. However, I think I should share with the world that I am quite happy that since surgery, due to the fact that I have been hit on quite a number of times. More times than I can imagine in my entire life. Now, these men who hit on me, are no Brad Pitt, most have at least four missing teeth, and I think only one of them knew how to say a full sentence in English.
Here are my encounters:
Waiting in the metro, this dude comes up to me, buck teeth and all. He looks me up and down and then with this grin, opens his mouth:
Weirdo: Dayuuuuuum Girl, you looking fiiiine. You got the Facebook?
Me: (German accent): Me, no book face, I no from country. Tank you
Weirdo: Girl, you know what I sayin’, you got the Facebook in Germany
Me: No no sir, No habla English.
Then maybe two days later, I see this odd looking thing. To be honest, I thought he was a homeless man asking me for change, so I tried to be nice. It turns out he was around fifty. I thought he was asking me if I had a tomato, but really he wanted my number.
Old Man: Hello Lady, you are looking quite fine tonight, can I have your tomato?
Me: I don’t have a tomato
Old Man: Can I have your number?
I casually walked away, because I didn’t want him to feel bad about the fact that I wasn’t interested in him or his tomato talk. He had this stench of beets coming from him, and I have a boyfriend. Like, get real sir. Also, maybe you should call your dentist, because something is really wrong up in there.
Two days ago, I was walking Genius in the alley. I know, I know, call me an idiot. I was asking for D’Shawn to start talking to me. No seriously, his name was D’Shawn, he told me as I was running away from him. Genius ran into an alley and I followed him there, because clearly I’m the genius. All of a sudden, this voice with no face hiding behind a car, starts talking to me and asking me personal questions about my life.
D’Shawn: Cute dog, what’s your name?
D’Shawn: That’s a tough name for a cute little girl like you
Me: No, my dog is Genius. I don’t have a name
D’Shawn: Girl, where you livin?
D’Shawn: I got an extra bed, wanna stay with me
D’Shawn (as he follows me back to my apartment) Girl, don’t you walk away from me. I’m offering you shelter, for you and your dog for free.
Me: I’m cool bro.
Anyway, Genius and I walked two blocks away, and needless to say, I’ve been searching for a new apartment ever since. It’s been quite week.
Guys, you’ve all been sweet! Thanks so much for boosting my confidence