I promised my Mom and Auntie Manny that I would never blog again about making fun of myself. However, this story is a hilarious one. Last night I went to bed at 3:00 am, I had a terrible night and was a grumpy case all night. Anyway, I finally fall asleep, and after watching four too many episodes of RHOBH, and seeing ten thousand commercials for The Keg, I found myself going to bed hungry. I promised myself that the kitchen was the forbidden zone after 8:00 pm. So I stayed in my bed like a proper young lady. Anyway, I had the most INCREDIBLE dream about meat last night. It was like Willy Wonka’s magic land, except with filet mignon, and roast beef, and steak and steak and steak everywhere. It really felt real. So real in fact that I think I started eating my arm by 4:00 am. I wake up this morning at 7:00am to find that I am sleeping in a pool of drool. I have never had a dream that felt so real. It’s sick and funny all at the same time. I’ll chew the meat without swallowing it at this point, I just don’t remember the taste at all.
Someone needs to kick the fat girl out of me. I’m making myself sick!
I feel so happy that I was able to share my news with everyone. I thought it would be more embarrassing than anything. But, to my surprise, I got nothing but support from everyone around me. People I haven’t spoken to in weeks, months, years wished me good luck and much success on this new chapter of my life.
It’s crazy to think that I’m getting a second chance. Who knows how much more I could have taken, before I ballooned enough to be like Violet from Willy Wonka. With the doctors cutting out my stomach, it’s kind of like a new beginning. I’m starting off like a baby again. The first couple of weeks it’s liquid, soon after, purees, and then I can slowly start on the solid food a couple of months later. Speaking of liquid, I start this liquid diet on Wednesday! I’m more scared than anything because I don’t trust myself to not go to the fridge, and sneak a little something here and a little something there.
I have enjoyed my last weekend of solid food. Actually, I shouldn’t say that. I will be able to eat solid food again, however, in decent sized portions, which is something I have never done before. Christina Hane and I went out for Chinese this weekend. It was a GoodBYE to food. I have never felt so sick in my life, and I don’t think i will ever eat Chinese again.
Anyway, I’m beginning to rant…